Emotional Affairs

Being in a long term relationship has taught me a lot over the years. And one of the things I've learnt is that emotional connection between two people in love is very important. Emotions are a way for us to interact with the world around. Without emotions we would all be walking around like zombies.So imagine a relationship without any emotional connection what-so-ever. One will be left feeling like theres no use or point in being that relationship My friend called me the other day said she found some text messages on her man's phone to another girl. She was mad as hell and she wanted to leave him. I think that would be my first reaction also but theres always more to the story than meets the eye. I told my homegirl to sit her man down and talk about this because things had been rough between them and if one of them didnt want to be tied down anymore they would have split... TURNS OUT NIGGA WAS HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR. HMMMMMmmmm. Emotional affair? is there even such a thing? The answer to that is YES The traditional definition of cheating is that one person in a committed relationship is physically involved with someone other than his/her spouse. In recent years, cheating has been reclassified to include not only the physical affair but, also, the emotional affair.An emotional affair is defined as any infidelity that occurs through feeling or thought. With the technological development of cell phones and the internet, the definition of cheating has been expanded to include the traditional definition, plus the feelings and/or thoughts that comprise emotional infidelity. Cheating now includes having intimate correspondence with someone while on a cell phone, meeting someone over the Internet and maintaining a close, personal relationship with someone other than your spouse. If you’re having an emotional affair here’s what you need to do today -Stop! Cut off all communication, contact, texting, emails, calls, and personal interaction with the other woman now! Any contact you maintain with the other woman is a peg THAT will destroy you, your marriage, your reputation, and your life. If the woman doesn’t know how you feel…you’re delusional…she knows how you feel and she knows that she’s been flirting with you, too. This is not the time to worry about embarrassing someone or hurting someone’s feelings or anything that keeps you from bolting back into the sanctity and safety of your marriage vows. - DONT give me any of this crap about “well it never got physical, so it wasn’t really CHEATING”! You have betrayed your PARTNER and lusted in your heart, so own that. You must also resist any temptation to excuse or justify your this. Shut up! You have been flirting with and lusting after another woman/man...so wake up and show some self-control! -Tell your partner .You will not get through this without being honest with both yourself and your other half. She/he will be devastated, feel betrayed…and she/he should! You are being unfaithful. A death has occurred: the death of the man she thought she knew and the death of the relationship she thought she had. She will grieve and you will let her. She has the moral high ground and has permission to feel whatever she needs to feel. You have lost the right to tell her how to feel. -Get some help. You and your partner will need counseling to get your relationship back on the right track, to work through the pain, and to start the long process of healing. Your pride and arrogance may lead you to believe that you can fix it on your own, but….you’re wrong! Humble yourself and get help -Keep hope alive. You can survive this as long as YOU do the following things: Stop the lustful relationship, tell the truth, seek forgiveness, seek God’s forgiveness, live every moment of the rest of your life seeking to be the man/woman your partner deserves. The security she knew or thought she had is gone. you may need to reassure her/him that she/he is the only one..... TILL WE MEET AGAIN, LOVE,RESPECT AND APPRECIATE ONE ANOTHER... PEACE

Moving on from the past

After reading my cousin's blog about her first love and break up, a lot of things came up to mind and I thought back to the time when I was in that same dark, cold pla and how I got out of it... Growing up is awesome because it comes with experience and experience comes with wiseness. One wrong thing that most of us do after being hurt and stripped of digninty is scrawling into a corner and feel sorry for ourselves. Welose all hope of finding hapiness and we become bitte when we should actually do the opposite.... Moving on is huge challenge but it do-able. Dwelling on any break-up is not emotionally healthy and keeps you from re-discovering your needs and wants from a relationship. The following tips will help you move on from your break up and guide you into finding love again. Number 1...Accept the Reality. Accept the fact that the relationship is over. Do not give yourself unrealistic fantasies that you might get back together one day. Respect the fact that the relationship had its time, but has no ran out ways to work. This was a chapter in your life that has now closed and you are now ready to grow and enter another chapter of your life. Learn from It. Everything is a learning experience, so use it your advantage! Look over your relationship and list what went good about it and what went wrong. Use these notes as a tool to improve your relationships skills. Never Generalize. Going through a break up does cause you emotional withdrawal and pain, which may cause you to generalize everyone you meet or choose to date. Keep in mind that everyone is an individual with their own unique qualities and personalities and your encounters with them will not carry the same experiences as your ex-relationship. Focus on You. Take some time to get to know yourself again before you get involved with someone else. Know what you really need and deserve and what you are ready to give another person. When you are sure about what you are willing to give and to receive, you will be able to find a partner who will suit you well.